It finally hit me

I have been reading on one of my favorite sites about people that have moved to Australia having these panic attacks and anxiety attacks. I never really got it, until today.

I was calmly going through more of our belongings, making the three piles Take, Toss, Sell. Then there was a knock at our door. I went to the door and it was this idiot that has annoyed me since we started our yardsales in July. He comes when he wants, argues over prices, tells you you told him one price when you KNOW you did not and is just pushy as hell. He also speaks very broken English. Well, he picked the wrong day to come and annoy me.

We have a yardsale planned for tomorrow and he knows alot of the items that we will have at this one like TV, radio, microwave, etc. I politly told him as soon as I opened the door that the yardsale was at 8 am in the morning and to please come back then. I shut the door and he banged on the door again. I answered the door and said more sternly that I was very busy and he could see what we were selling tomorrow morning and he said "No. I want to buy TV now." This was not a good idea on his part as I had a baby in my arms, 2 toddlers by my side and it was 10 AM. I told him this time " I SAID THE YARDSALE IS TOMORROW MORNING. I AM VERY BUSY! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!" This he understood and left.

When I shut the door, my 4 year old asked why we were selling everything again and that was all it took. I started crying, hyperventilating and got a pain in my chest. What the hell are we doing??Are we crazy? We are moving WHERE? OH MY GOD!!! Full blown panic attack. Luckily, a dear friend was online and has been there, done that and was able to bring me down and reassure me that it is ok. Why we are moving is a better way of life for our kids and for us. We are moving to one of the most beautiful places on earth and it will be ok. I am not a materialistic person but for some reason, the TV represents everything to me. I know, it sounds crazy but it is the hardest thing for me to get rid of. Then this afternoon, someone is supposed to come and see our beloved shepherd and see if she wants to adopt her. I do not think I can do that this evening. She is a huge part of us. She was our ring bearer in our wedding. She accepted me then our babies lovingly. How are we supposed to let her go? Please someone tell me this is ok? Someone tell me again that this is the right thing to do. Tell me everyone will be fine.

I need to call my doctor I think and get some xanax for future attacks and I mean a big ass bottle!

New babies

This is a bit off topic but it is part of my life and my blog so I guess I can say what I want. Babies. We love them with all of our heart but I can not for the life of me understand why they insist on sleeping so peacefully all day and then as soon as you turn the light off to go to sleep at night, WAAAAAAAAA!!! WTF??? People say " Oh they are confused". How? How can they be confused? And why is it once they are toddlers and pre schoolers, that all changes and they are up at 6 AM?!? Why can't they all be on the same schedule? Do you know what this does to mommy? Let me just say, I have extra luggage under my eyes! And I have to drink so much coffee that it is a wonder the baby does not get up and run around the room. I am so tired that I can not think straight anymore or even know what that means.

Well, enough whining for now. Back to pricing items for the yardsale. Plus have someone coming over later to visit with our dog. That is going to be the hardest part of the move, leaving our beast behind. I know she will be fine and happy but we had to give up our fish tank last night and it brought me to tears to see my oldest daughter telling the fish goodbye and telling the people how to feed him and what he likes and does not like. Oh this is going to be tough.

It's all good

Life is good! Baby Rose is growing and growing. She is into the smile for your meal stage and occasionally will chuckle too. Of course, mommy melts with this. The other 2 girls are finally adjusting to the new baby and realize she is not going anywhere much to their dismay.
We recieved word that our visas have been approved also! Today we recieved an email that the final paperwork should be done in 6 weeks or less. WOW! We have been having many yardsales but now can bump it up a notch so that we will be ready to leave in 6 weeks. I can't believe it. I am still in a bit of shock and will believe it when we are there. I wish I had more time to type now but baby needs to eat so more later.

A Rose is not just a rose

She is my baby! Miss Rose Mary...

This is getting hard

Am I the only one that has a hard time selling there kids toys? I feel like the worse person in the world. I told them that we will get new ones once we are in Australia but they don't understand. I am not selling all of the toys but we can''t take them all. I will get through this and we will be happier once we are there...I hope.